Welcome to How to Persuade Someone!
“Mom, can I please buy that new video game? All my friends have it and I’m the only one that doesn’t! It’s not fair!”
That is how most people nowadays try to get their parents to do something for them. However, one shouldn’t expect an “Okay, sweetie!” after that, as the reply that comes back is more of a harsh “no!”
Imagining you playing that video game with your friends, you plead, “Mom, can I please, please, please get it?
Your mom rolls her eyes and that’s enough to get that dream out of your head.
If many of you who are reading this go through a similar situation like the one above, this blog is perfect for you! Of course, you can’t expect to get what you want with just saying that you want it. Telling your mom that you are the only one that doesn’t have it is not enough to convince your mom. Begging is not going to convince your mom! You need to know the skills and tricks of persuasion to actually get that video game!
Why You Need To Be Able To Persuade Someone
To be clear, this blog is not just to help you get that video game, it’s to help with life! Persuasion is an important and significant part of life, and it is used by all ages- from when you are a kid and want to get a new toy, to when you are in your mid-40’s and are advertising for a company.
“Persuading people is important because you are allowing your view of the world to be transferred onto someone else, it is the expansion of the mind done using different senses to ensure that your point will be getting across, this is used for two different reasons, to either convince someone that they should see something differently or to convince them to purchase an item that ultimately they need or could better their lives.” (scienceofyes.com)
While it is never good to force someone into something, persuading shouldn’t be used for negative things. It should help you achieve your goals, not hurt others. It should help inspire others, not bring them down. Whether you are using it for your personal goals or for a business, persuade in a way that will benefit others, not just yourself! Here are the tips and tricks for persuasion so that not only you, but others can also achieve success:
1. Be confident
Your first step is to remain and project confidence throughout the entirety of your appeal. The more confident you are, the more convincing your arguments are going to sound, and the more powerful you’re going to appear. Confidence is easy to fake and hard to distinguish, so don’t be afraid if you don’t feel confident — just act confident, and that will probably be enough.
A study by the University of Leicester found that “the single significant behavioral difference between persuaders and persuadees was in the expression of confidence.”
Confidence subtly implies that you’re already convinced you’re going to get what you want, which subtly influences the other party to give it to you. Just be careful not to overextend your exhibition of confidence, or you’ll run the risk of turning people off with arrogance.businessinsider.com
2. Introduce a logical argument
By being logical, you are already several steps ahead to persuade someone. “People are easily persuaded by logic. The Conflict Research Consortium of the University of Colorado states that “persuasion is the process of convincing an opponent to change his or her beliefs and/or behavior through moral or logical argument (rather than force). When someone is persuaded to do something, they do it because they have come to believe it is the right or best thing to do.” (businessinsider.com)
3. Acknowledge the other persons’ point of view
An extremely powerful tactic of persuasion is to concede the point. Admit that your argument is not perfect. This shows that you are open-minded and willing to make adjustments, instead of stubbornly sticking to your cause. You want your audience to know that you have their best interests at heart. Try using statements such as, “I see where you are coming from,” and “That makes a lot of sense.” This shows that you are actively listening to what they are saying, and you won’t just force your ideas upon them. Persuasive people allow others to be entitled to their opinions and they treat these opinions as valid. They do this because it shows respect, which makes the other person more likely to consider their point of view.entrepreneur.com
Just a little side note, by doing this you can also figure out what the other person is thinking so you can create a counter-point to persuade them even more.
4. Choose the right words
Have you ever noticed that when people use descriptive and powerful words, you are more engaged than if someone were to use regular, boring words? Personally, I have noticed that several times in speeches, presentations, and general conversations.
When someone uses the words “spellbinding” and “intriguing” rather than interesting, those words make the conversation much more fascinating!
(See what I did there! I used fascinating instead of interesting or exciting.)
Power words trigger emotional responses because of how much “power” they have in them. These words are so persuasive and people cannot resist being influenced by them! So next time you need to ask your mom to get something for you, don’t say “That video game is so interesting!” Instead, say “That video game is so riveting and diverting!”
5. Connect with your audience
Imagine there are two people in front of you- one of them is your best friend, and the other is a stranger. They are both trying to persuade you to hang out and go out with them. Even though they are both saying the same thing, it is obvious that you would go with your friend! Because you have a person connection with that individual, you would listen to what he/she is saying, not what the stranger is saying.
People are much more likely to accept what you have to say once they have a sense of what kind of person you are. In a negotiation study, Stanford students were asked to reach an agreement in class. Without instruction of any kind, 55% of the students successfully reached an agreement. However, when students were instructed to introduce themselves and share their background before attempting to reach an agreement, 90% of the students did so successfully.
The key here is to avoid getting too caught up in the back and forth of the discussion. The person you are speaking with is a person, not an opponent or a target. No matter how compelling your argument, if you fail to connect on a personal level, he or she will doubt everything you say.entrepreneur.com
6. Be patient, but persistent
There will be times when people don’t get persuaded by what you are saying, but when that happens, don’t keep annoying the person by begging or arguing. That will only worsen the situation. Instead, you should calm down and try again at a later time. By trying again later, you are not annoying the person but still getting another chance to persuade him/her. This time, you should be more reasonable and maybe you will achieve what you want!
It is important not to bug the person by constantly repeating the same thing over and over again, as that only leads to the person saying no in the end. However, if you give up right then and there, you don’t have a chance to get what you want. As said in the text above, be patient and bring up the topic another time!
“Don’t be impatient and overly persistent. Know that if your idea is really a good one, people will catch on if you give them time. If you don’t, they won’t catch on at all.” (entrepreneur.com)
7. Be clear and concise
You could take about anything in the world, but it would be of no use if you are not clear and concise. Being clear and concise is not only important in businesses and work life, but also in one’s personal life. People get uninterested if one is talking for too long about one topic that only takes a short time to explain.
“Persuasive people are able to communicate their ideas quickly and clearly. When you have a firm grasp on what you’re talking about, it’s fun and easy to explain it to those who don’t understand. A good strategy here is to know your subject so well that you could explain it to a child. If you can explain yourself effectively to someone who has no background on the subject, you can certainly make a persuasive case with someone who does.” (entrepreneur.com)
8. Paint a picture
“A picture is worth a thousand words.”
In order to persuade someone to do something/get something, don’t just explain them why it would be good- show them!
Research shows that people are far more likely to be persuaded by something that has visuals that bring it to life. Persuasive people capitalize on this by using powerful visual imagery. When actual images aren’t available or appropriate, these people tell vivid stories that breathe life into their ideas. Good stories create images in the mind of the recipients that are easy to relate to and hard to forget.entrepreneur.com
9. Speak their language
Listen closely to how the person talks and watch how they carry themselves. Choose your own approach accordingly. Do they stray from jargon? You should too. Do they make jokes and end their sentences with prepositions? Match that with your own relaxed style.
Even body language should be matched effectively. If they like to talk with their hands, that means their ideal form of communication is active, so it is helpful for you to do the same. If their language is reserved and closed off (arms are closed, etc), then you know to avoid gestures that would make them feel uncomfortable.
This technique is useful for addressing groups of people as well. Try to get a feel for the room and study what makes people react positively to what you say. Learn what works and apply it accordingly.lifehack.org
10. Build to your emotions
Let your emotional responses, such as enthusiasm and excitement, naturally develop during the conversation. Don’t overwhelm the person with a zeal they don’t feel yet.
In many cases, you’ll want to wait until the end of your pitch to start sprinkling in the emotion and passion. This will ensure that it comes across as sincere and logically founded on what’s already been said.
A good rule of thumb is to start the conversation on an upbeat but relaxed note. As you start discussing the topic at hand, gradually grow more excited and passionate about what you’re talking about. This way, the person won’t feel like they’re being “worked.” They’ll instead feel like you are doing them a favor.lifehack.org
By showing emotion, you are also conveying what it feels to do/have something. This will make the person much more interested and you have a better chance of persuading them!
It is always a good feeling to get/achieve something you wanted, but it an even better feeling when you know that you worked for it. By using these persuasion tricks, you can feel even prouder because you know that you successfully influenced that person. As a recap, here are the 10 tricks and tips to persuade someone:
- Be confident
- Introduce a logical article.
- Acknowledge the other persons’ point of view
- Choose the right words
- Connect with your audience
- Be patient, but persistent
- Be clear and concise
- Paint a picture
- Speak their language
- Build to your emotions
Check out more on this topic in our success category!
Even if you want to use these tricks to ask for a new phone or convince your parents to let you go to a party, it is important to understand that persuasion is not an insignificant method to get something you want. By persuading, you are influencing someone. While one day you may be persuading someone to buy you a new video game, the next day you could be influencing the whole world with an innovative idea. It is important to acquire this skill now, as it will absolutely be necessary later on.
Check out this book, “Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion.” In this book, you will learn about why people say yes in business and everyday life situations. Not only this, but this book also explains “the six universal principles of influence and how to use them to them to become a skilled persuader—and, just as importantly, how to defend yourself against dishonest influence attempts.”
Tony Robbin’s Quote
“IN A WORLD FULL OF PERSUADERS, YOU CAN BE ONE, TOO, OR YOU CAN BE SOMEONE WHO GETS PERSUADED. YOU CAN DIRECT YOUR LIFE OR BE DIRECTED. THIS BOOK HAS REALLY BEEN ABOUT PERSUASION. IT’S SHOW YOU HOW TO DEVELOP THE PERSONAL POWER THAT CAN PUT YOU IN CONTROL SO YOU CAN DO THE PERSUADING, WHETHER AS A ROLE MODEL FOR YOUR KIDS OR AS A POWERFUL FORCE AT WORK. THE PEOPLE IN POWER ARE THE PERSUADERS. THE PEOPLE WITHOUT POWER SIMPLY ACT ON THE IMAGES AND COMMANDS THAT ARE DIRECTED THEIR WAY.” – Tony Robbins
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