How To Improve Your Emotional Intelligence As A Teenager

Welcome to this blog on how to improve your emotional intelligence!

Before we get started on tips to improve your emotional intelligence, it is important to understand what E.Q. actually is and how it can help you in life.

You’re probably aware of I.Q, the measure of a person’s mental and reasoning ability. I.Q, intelligence quotient, focuses on cognitive skillfulness, while E.Q, emotional quotient, centers on relation skillfulness.

About 2 to 3 years ago, I was obsessed with taking I.Q. tests. By the way, if you want to take a free I.Q. test, go to I thought that your I.Q. is the the one factor that can make you successful in life. However, I realized that I was completely wrong when I was introduced to emotional intelligence.

Emotional intelligence is most often defined as the ability to perceive, use, understand and manage emotions. It is the capacity to to be aware of, control, and express one’s emotions, and to handle interpersonal relationships judiciously and empathetically. Some examples include:

– Being able to accept criticism and responsibility

– Being able to move on after making a mistake

– Being able to say no when you need to

– Being able to share your feelings with others

– Being able to solve problems in ways that work for everyone

– Having empathy for other people

– Having great listening skills

– Knowing why you do the things you do

– Not being judgemental of others

This study even shows that your E.Q. may be even more important than I.Q. because it helps you grow more in life. As much as intellectual skills have much value, it is the ability to feel emotions, nurture relationships, and demonstrate strong characters that opens more doors in life. Relationships are a big part of business and life, and developing them can help you be successful wherever you are.

Think about it – One example is if you are a salesperson. You could be the most intelligent person in the world, but without a sense of knowing how to talk and relate to others, you would fail your job. However, if you had a high E.Q, you would know how to approach, talk, and convince others to buy a product.

Along with being able to maintain relationships with others, your emotional intelligence can help you big-time internally. When you’re feeling down, you can acknowledge your thoughts and redirect them to something more positive. When you’re stress, you know exactly what to do to relieve that stress and feel better. Last but not least, your emotional intelligence can help you be motivated to go after challenges and accomplish your goals.

You now know the importance of E.I, ad why it matters in life. It is also important to recognize that you CAN increase your e.q. While some say it is an inherited trait, there is many evidence that proves otherwise. So, if you’re determined to improve your emotional intelligence, here’s how:

1. Embrace self-awareness

how to improve your emotional intelligence

Emotionally intelligent people are self-aware and are able to recognize their thoughts and emotions. They are able to gain perspective on their feelings, so that they know how to combat negative thoughts and replace them with positive ones.

Practicing mindfulness is a great way to embrace self-awareness. Dig deep and ask yourself what you are really feeling. When you do this, you can then pay closer attention to how you are communicating with yourself and others.

As you practice the art of mindfulness, you will be able to not only recognize your thoughts, but others as well. Body language and tone can give a lot about one person, and as your emotional intelligence increases, so will your ability to recognize how others are feelings and develop empathy for them.

2. Be an active listener

how to improve your emotional intelligence

Sometimes, we get so caught up in our world and our own problems, we forget about others’. We keep going on and on about our situations, and we don’t even care about what the next person is going through.

If you want to become more emotionally intelligent, you must be able to listen to others in way that they feel safe and comfortable sharing their story with you. Not listen and then forget, but listen and understand.

When you start to actively listen, you will be able to empathize with others and strengthen your relationship with them.

It opens the door for mutual respect and understanding between people with differing opinions and situations.

3. Respond, don’t react

Especially as teenagers, during moments of tense conflict, we tend to react immediately with sudden bursts of anger.

However, emotionally intelligent people know how to stay calm during these stressful moments. They know that they need to take a deep breath, and fully process the problem before reacting.

Oftentimes, impulsive decisions lead to a more difficult situation. So, it is important to stay calm and take a moment to think.

Whenever there is a conflict, the goal is a resolution, a solution. Emotionally intelligent people know to respond in a way that makes progress towards the solution and make sure that their actions and words are not contradicting that.

4. Be confident & curious

how to improve your emotional intelligence

Emotionally intelligent people are both confident and curious.

They are confident when taking action to reach a new goal and milestone and they are able to navigate through tough times. They know that they have what it takes to try new things and get the job done.

Along with being confident, people with a high E.Q. level are also curious. They are curious not only about themselves, but also others. Firstly, they approach their feelings with a sense of curiosity so that they are more open to their feelings and are better able to understand them. With this, they can solve whatever is bothering them. Secondly, they are able to understand others through observing their body language and actions. Now, this doesn’t mean being annoying and asking other people a bunch of questions – – always make sure to respects others’ space and make them feel comfortable.

5. Assert yourself & others

Being assertive means being bold and confident, but also respectful and humble.

Asserting yourself is a part of improving your emotional intelligence it requires communicating your perspective, wants and needs directly while still respecting others. “As you become attuned to your own emotional terrain, you’re able to assert yourself in a way that strengthens and deepens your relationships.” (tonyrobbins)

Along with being assertive with yourself, emotionally intelligent people are assertive with others. Being assertive is a great way of communicating because you are being direct while also being respectful. When communicating this way, you don’t come off as arrogant, and you don’t come off as weak. This is a great balance when talking to others, and that is why many emotional intelligent people are assertive!

6. Be motivated

how to improve your emotional intelligence

Being emotionally intelligent is not about external relationships and understanding others; it is also about having a good relationship with yourself and understanding yourself.

Emotionally intelligent people are self-motivated and their attitude also motivates others. They are able to set goals for themselves and accomplish them, no matter what obstacles they face.

Being emotionally intelligent means being strong internally. If you want to improve your E.I, set goals for yourself and work hard to achieve them.

Be sure to check out my blog on how to motivate yourself to work hard as a teenager in 2021!

7. Maintain a positive attitude

16 Ways to Keep a Positive Mental Attitude - PureWow

Along with being self-motivated, emotionally intelligent people maintain a positive attitude.

They face the day with an optimistic mindset that everything that happens will end up well, despite the hardships. This helps them continue to work hard to make their dreams come true.

Along with this, they are able to affect the attitudes around them. A negative attitude is contagious, so they are aware of the moods around them and are able to guard their attitude accordingly. Along with this, they spread their positive mindset so that others can have the same outlook as them.

What can you do to maintain a positive attitude? I like to take a break and talk to my friends. Maybe, for you, it is watching a movie or journalling. Try whatever works for you to be happy and make those around you happy as well!

8. Take critique well

An important part of improving your emotional intelligence is being able to take criticism in a positive way. As teenagers, when someone even gives the slightest hint that we are not doing something right, it would annoy the heck out of us. However, if you want to increase your E.Q, next time someone gives you advice or a suggestion, think about where it’s coming from, how it’s affecting your performance, and how you can resolve it without having any issues.

Instead of getting defensive or offended, thank the other person and use this as a chance to improve yourself. No one is perfect, and listening to others could give us the advice we need to increase our chances of success!

9. Empathize with others

Empathize Stock Illustrations – 119 Empathize Stock Illustrations, Vectors  & Clipart - Dreamstime

A major factor that goes into determining emotional intelligence is empathy. To get started, it is important to understand what empathy really means:

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another.

Think about is like putting yourself in another person’s shoes. This means to try to relate to another person on a human level.

Empathy is a trait that shows emotional strength, not weakness, and we all should try to be more empathetic to those we talk to.

It can help others feel better if they are going through a difficult situation, and give them the support they need to continue fighting.

10. Be approachable and sociable

Be approachable and sociable - Deepstash

Emotionally intelligent people come off as approachable. They smile and give off a positive presence. They utilize appropriate social skills based on their relationship with whomever they are around. They have great interpersonal skills and know how to communicate clearly, whether the communication is verbal or nonverbal.

Many of these skills may seem to be best suited for those who understand basic human psychology. While high EQ skills may come more easily to naturally empathetic people, anyone can develop them. Less empathetic people just have to practice being more self-aware and conscious of how they interact with others. By utilizing these steps, you’ll be well on your way to an increase in your emotional intelligence level.

The Takeaway

Emotional Intelligence is a huge part of life, and knowing how to improve it can help you significantly, both personally and professionally. We all know people who naturally have a high E.Q that can read people easily and understand what others want, and we can become like those individuals. All it takes is to follow these steps:

  1. Embrace self-awareness
  2. Be an active listener
  3. Respond, don’t react
  4. Bo confident & curious
  5. Assert yourself & others
  6. . Be motivated
  7. Maintain a positive attitude
  8. Take critique well
  9. Empathize with others
  10. Be approachable & sociable

Emotional Intelligence plays a big part in business and leadership. Be sure to read the book, “Emotional Intelligence for the Modern Leader: A Guide to Cultivating Effective Leadership and Organizations” if you are interested in both business and emotional intelligence.

If you want to test your E.Q, take this quiz!

To improve your E.Q, you must start improving your mindset. As teenagers, we let our emotions control us, instead it being the other way around. When we start getting a handle over our emotions, we will come to know that there is so much around us that we haven’t noticed yet. Now is the time to start transforming your mindset so that you are in control of your thoughts and feelings. With the 10 tips listed above, you will be able to shift your mindset so that you can understand yourself and others with a deeper sense of consciousness and appreciation.

With that, good luck improving your emotional intelligence and ultimately, improving your life!

Next Steps

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